Dirtiest Game of Quidditch, Next Generation
by HogwartsAdoptedSon00
Summary: Even twenty years later, Slytherin's still a bunch of cheating scumbags but the only difference is...Gryffindor's not tolerating it anymore. McGonagall and Snape argue a bit, Rose and Hugo are commentating.


_**This was written by my twelve year old sister. She's had it on my computer for awhile and I thought it was funny, so I decided to share it with you guys. Leave a review and let her know what you think.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

Despite wearing several layers under his winter coat, the cold October breeze still managed to push its way in against his skin. Snape grimaced as he sat in the staff section of the Quidditch pitch. It was the first match of the season and had the Head of Houses' presence not be required, he would not even be here.

"What is the child even suppose to look like?" He growled at Minerva, who was watching the field nervously. She would be excited, Snape thought, Minerva's always favored the Potters.

McGonagall swatted his arm, bringing him back down from his thoughts, and gave him a stern look. "Oh honestly! Does it matter what he looks like, Severus? He's an excellent seeker! But to answer your question, we shall see in a minute, I expect. Look the Slytherin team is on the pitch."

Undoubtedly, Slytherin's team began to gather on the field. He only recognized one face and that was Scorpius Malfoy's. The blonde hair and pointed face was unmistakable but he was not nearly as crazy about old blood notions as his father and grandfather.

"And those Slytherin gits-" Hugo began.

"HUGO!" McGonagall shouted.

Rose quickly grabbed the microophone. "Team, professor. He meant to say team. The Slytherin team is as follows. Keeper and Captain, Andrew Zabini." The Slytherin section went into an uproar of cheering. "Beaters, Justin Crabbe and Craig Goyle...

"Who seem to have stop eating long enough to find the Quidditch pitch," Hugo commented quickly, earning a stern glare from Minerva and a short-lived laugh from the Gryffindor team.

"Craig Goyle and Justin Crabbe have returned as Beaters, and with their size that's no surprise. Is that any better, Professor? Chasers Joshua Flint, Priya Parkinson and Thomas Higgs. And seeing that these numpties must be really desperate..." Snape reached over and landed a hard slap on the back of Hugo's head.

"First year Scorpius Malfoy as seeker," Rose finished plainly.

Hugo took the microphone back. "Who cares about those prats, anyway? No one! Atleast not when Gryffindor's on the pitch!" Hugo cheered as Gryffindor's team took to the pitch. A loud cheer erupted and finally died down long enough for him to call out the roster.

"It's so strange that most of my family is on this team," Hugo said. "Beaters Fred and Louis Weasley, I see you boys! Chasers Michelle Chang, Daniel Thomas and the youngest captain Hogwarts has ever seen, third year James Potter! You know Rosie, I suspect James has a bit of crush on Michelle..."

"No one cares! Your job is to comment on the game." Minerva replied. Albus Dumbledore only laughed at Minerva's attempts to straighten the boy out. It was like beating a dead horse.

Rose spoke into the microphone before McGonagall could sentence her brother to death. "And Gryffindor's newest seeker, second year Albus Potter!" The staff section gave into a chorus of 'awwws' as the boy's name was announced. He was nowhere to be seen though.

Dumbledore, along with the rest of Gryffindor house, clapped as his former house team filed out onto to the field. Even from the stands Snape could make out third year James Potter's unruly hair, which he never even attempted to control. James was smiling confidently and making fun of Slytherin's players with his cousin Fred. Oh how he wished he could wipe the arrogant smirk off of the boy's face...

Get a grip on yourself, he thought. But when had he ever wished anything but ill for a Potter? He had only saved Harry in his first year out of pure pity. And now that he thought about it, he should've let the boy humiliate himself in front of his peers. Maybe it would've kept that nasty, arrogant streak of his in check.

You're doing it again, Snape chatized himself.

Now that he'd seen one of the Potters, where was the other one? He had missed all of last year and hadn't gotten the chance to see Harry Potter's precious Albus. Snape hadn't even run into him in the halls. The rest of the staff cooed about him being such a quiet and well-mannered student. He was sure it was all just a ruse. The boy was probably every bit as vile and self-important as his brother, father and grandfather. Thankfully, he was neither in Snape's class or his house.

"I don't know what's keeping Albus but Madam Hooch does not look happy, but then again...does she ever look happy?" Rose said trying to buy some time for her cousin.

"IF YOUR SEEKER DOESN'T SHOW," Hooch shouted. "SLYTHERIN WINS BY DEFAULT."

Just then, a tiny figure came running onto the pitch. "I'm here! I'm here," Albus shouted breathlessly as he flew to meet his team mates.

Snape recognized the young boy easily. He looked even more like the first James Potter than Harry or his brother did. His raven-colored hair was swept across his forehead and he wore the same round spectacles that Harry and his high school tormentor, James, wore. Albus was shaking nervously. He didn't look he could harm a fly, much less last an entire match with his brutal Slytherins and most certainly not with beaters like Crabbe and Goyle.

"He looks and acts like his family," Snape said under his breath. "Just like Potter to keep people waiting. To think that the whole world revolves around his abnormally large head."

Minerva, clearly fed up with Severus' berating her Gryffindors, shot him a look of annoyance. "You are one to talk about abnormally large, have you seen that nose of yours?"

Dumbledore cleared his throat obviously in an attempt to cool the heated argument that was about to take place between the two. "Now now, Minerva and Severus you two had better play nice. You wouldn't want to miss the beginning of what looks like a great match, would you?"

Both professors looked at the field just in time to catch both captains shaking hands. James gripped Zabini's hand a little longer than necessary before returning to his position. The quaffle, bludgers and Golden Snitch had been released and already Slytherin was in possession.

"And it's Priya Parkinson with the Quaffle," first year Rose Weasley cried into the microphone. "She's taken off like a bat out of hell! Merlin, she's fast! And not to mention she's managed to elude JAMES POTTER, FRED WEASLEY AND NOW DANIEL THOMAS! She's dodged a bludger and she's headed for the goals post..."

Hugo grinned satisfactorily. "And she's shut down by Dominique Weasley!" Hugo said proudly, waving his arms in the air. "Oh yeah! REJECTED REJECTED YOU JUST GOT REJECTED!"

Severus rolled his eyes and gabbed a fistful of his hair. "Weasley, for heaven's sake, control yourself."

Minerva looked at Snape disapprovingly. She could tolerate Weasley's irrelevance this one time. "It's not his fault your Slytherins are letting us get into stride. Any minute now, Potter will catch the snitch and you will be out of your misery."

"Us?" Snape's eyebrows raised. "You haven't been a Gryffindor for over fifty years Minerva. And if anything, Potter's children looks mediocre...at best."

McGonagall just rolled her eyes, obviously upset with Snape's snide remark. "Looks can be deceiving, Severus," she shot back. "You of all people should know that."

He chuckled and decided not to indulge her. "The game, Minerva." The continued to bicker as the game went on.

"Higgs passes to Flint...oh but it's intercepted by James Potter!" Rose exclaimed. "Potter passes to Chang, Chang passes back to Potter. Potter's got the quaffle and he's headed towards the post, he's gonna score!" her voice flattened. "But not before he scores on Chang and kisses her on the cheek. Back to the game loverboy!"

Hugo cheered for his cousin. "And it's ten points for Gryffindor! Scoring on and off the pitch eh mate?"

"Hugo and Rose Weasley," Minerva said flatly. "I would appreciate it if you could comment on the game and not Mr. Potter's love life."

Snape scoffed. So much like that blasted grandfather of his. Always using his Quidditch skills to show off to some girl or another. "The boy is arrogant I tell you. A show off. He'll be exactly like his namesakes, mark my words."

"I've stopped listening to you, Severus," McGonagall pointed out.

"Flint's got the Quaffle and Daniel Thomas is right on his tail," Rose said. "But hang on. Thomas Higgs is holding onto the end of Daniel's broom, FOUL ON THE PITCH! What, what! I think it's time you retired Madame Hooch! RAY CHARLES COULD'VE SEEN THAT YOU OLD BAT!" McGonagall opened her mouth to chastize the young girl, but decided against it. There was no point, she was every bit as fiery as her mother.

Minerva clucked her tongue at the way the game was being played. "Your Slytherins are tormenting my Gryffindors."

"Your Gryffindors are allowing it," he refuted.

Rose scoffed disbelievingly. "This is the dirtiest game of Quidditch I've ever watched. The Slytherin Beaters have started punting the bludgers at Gryffindor's Keeper Dominique Weasley!"

"THAT'S MY SISTER YOU COCKROACHES!" Louis screamed and began punting the bludgers back at Crabbe and Goyle. Madame Hooch blew her whistle earning a chorus of boos from Gryffindor crowd.

Hugo grabbed the mike in disblief. "Are you joking? Tell me you're joking! Louis Weasley gives Slytherin a taste of it's own nasty medicine and Madam Hooch has decided to award Slytherin a penalty! Lady, St. Mungo's is just a few minutes-"

McGonagall flapped her arms in frustration, attempting to make her point clearer. "HUGO ARTHUR RONALD WEASLEY!"

"Back to the game before Professor McGonagall maims my brother," Rose cleared her throat. "Crabbe and Goyle have both been awarded penalties! Both score easily. The score is 100-80, with us lions up by 20. Gryffindor's possession."

Snape laughed in Minerva's ear. "Because Potter's children are such brilliant players!"

"Shut up, Severus."

Before she could come up with a more clever response, Hugo's voice was drowning her out. "James Potter with the Quaffle. He passes to Thomas and it's back to Potter to Chang to Thomas to Potter to Chang...what is this? Hot Potatoe? That is one tough girl! Chang's been hit in the back with a bludger and she's still going!"

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Semiconcious and disoriented, Chang still manages to score on Zabini!" Rose yelped in excitement. "110-80, Gryffindor is up by 30. It's still anyone's game!"

"Do you hear that Severus, we're going to win!" Minerva chimed.

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "What I heard," he said flatly. "Was that it's still anyone's game."

"Flint with the Quaffle but he's being challenged by Daniel Thomas and Michelle Chang," Hugo screamed. "WATCH OUT FOR THE BLU-THAT WAS INTENTIONAL YOU CANIVING RODENTS!"

Rose sighed deeply. "And both Thomas and Chang are knocked off of their brooms by bludgers that were purposefully aimed at their heads! Gryffindor is down by two chasers. And captain James Potter does not look happy, he's calling the team, or what's left of it, in for a huddle!"

McGonagall turned to Snape, a disappointed look spreading across her face. "When Crabbe and Goyle come to Transfiguration tomorrow, I"ll dock one hundred points from Slytherin...each. This. Is. Preposterous."

"What is preposterous," Snape said in a matter-of-factly tone. "Is that your so called 'brave Gryffindors' don't have the courage or the sense to fight back. Instead they are allowing themselves to be walked upon."

Before she could reply, Rose squealed in delight. "I really don't believe it! The game will go on! Gryffindor will continue with five players!"

"Being the only chaser left in the game," Hugo said upsetly. "James will now be solely responsible for the Quaffle. Now if one of the seekers could just find the snitch, we could all get on with our lives."

"For the first time since the match started, I agree with Weasley," Snape muttered.

"POTTER'S GOT THE QUAFFLE!" Hugo shouted. "Fred and Louis are flying alongside him, keeping the bludgers away! Thomas Higgs and Joshua Flint have drifted off into lala land are hit by bludgers and go sprialling to the ground! Better luck next time!"

McGonagall's smiled inwardly. "Poppy is certainly going to have a full house after this match is finished. I don't even care if Malfoy or Potter catches the snitch anymore; this bloodbath needs to stop."

"It's just beginning Minerva. Crabbe and Goyle are just getting started," Snape said an unmistakable hint of joy in his voice.

Minerva swatted at his arm. "Severus! You can't possibly be happy about this."

"It's entertaining."

Rose roared into the microphone happily. "AND POTTER SCORES ON ZABINI! The match is now 120-80. It's just a matter of time before the beaters are being carried off on stretchers."

"Not that Crabbe or Goyle could fit on one," Hugo added cleverly.

Just as Snape was about to reprimand the boy, a roar of cheering fell over the crowd. Minerva was holding on tightly to his sleeve as she watched the pitch nervously. He looked out onto the pitch to see what was going on.

Albus Potter had spotted the snitch and was flying into the clouds to retrieve it. Scorpius was right on his tail and James was following closely behind them.

"If James is a chaser, why is he following the Seekers?" Rose asked a bit confused. "I know Albus is afraid of heights but..."

Hugo elbowed her in her ribs and jumped to Albus' defense. "He's a protective older brother. You can't seriously trust a Potter and a Malfoy to be so high up in the air and expecting nothing to happen. Slytherins can't be trusted, you know that Rose."

This did not sit well with the Slytherin crowd and caused Hugo to be booed. A few teachers even threatened to have him removed as commentator and replaced with Fred Weasley. Like that would be much better.

They had been gone a fairly long time. And in that time, both teams had taken to making the pitch a warzone. "Dominique Weasley has been pushed off of her broom by Crabbe and Goyle," Rose said with an exasperated sigh.

"Louis and Fred Weasley are in an unstoppable rage. They're headed straight for Crabbe and Goyle and knocks them over the head with their bats," Hugo said a little too much pleasure in his voice. "TAKE THAT YOU DIRTY, CHEATIN'-"

"MR. WEASLEY!" the entire staff section chorused.

Rose laguhed at the teachers and her face immediately fell as she turned back to the 'game'. "Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy have yet to return."

"I wonder what they're doing up there." "Do you think they killed each other?" "Maybe they ran into dementors..." were just a few of the comments muttered by the teachers.

"I can't believe it! Priya Parkinson and Andrew Zabini, not having any bats," Rose pointed out. "Resort to using their wands."

"Fred and Louis, not to be outdone, have dropped their bats and taken out their wands," Hugo bellowed. "IT JUST GOT REAL!"

Several disarming and stunning spells later, it was clear that this would end badly. Madame Hooch had even stopped blowing her whistle. Priya had broken her arm after Louis led her right into the path of a bludger. Zabini fell off of his broom after Fred cast a Tickling Spell on him. In the end, Fred ended up petrified by a third year spectator in Slytherin and Louis fell off his broom after being hit in the stomach with a bludger.

"The players are dropping like flies," Rose said plainly. "There's only James and Albus left for Gryffindor. Scorpius is the last player for Slytherin."

All that they could do now was wait for James, Albus and Scorpius to come back. "The snitch is coming back down!" Dumbledore shouted.

And so it was. The snitch was fluttering all about as it came back down to the pitch. Albus and Scorpius were neck in neck as they took their brooms into dives. James was following closely behind.

"Albus manages to pull out in front, a few feet ahead of Malfoy," Hugo shouted amongst the Gryffindors' and Slytherins' screams. "That Nimbus 2019 just won't cut it against the Firebolt eleventh edition!"

"LET'S GO AL! LET'S GO AL! LET'S GOOOOOOO AL!" Rose encouraged her cousin excitedly. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I've been saying that for the entire game but I really don't believe it this time! SCORPIUS HAS SET JAMES POTTER'S BROOM ON FIRE!" Snape smirked as Potter's broom began to descend toward the ground. This was becoming a common occurence in the game and didn't surprise anyone.

"Younger brother Albus Potter takes out his wand and slows James' progression to the ground. Excellent save by Albus!" Hugo screams. The professors all let out sighs of relief. They really would have a difficult time explaining how the son of the Boy-Who-Lived died.

Albus and Scorpius continued to fly neck in neck, the occasional elbow coming up to hit the other off course. A bludger came flying at the two boys and Scorpius moved in time to dodge it but Albus didn't. His broom spiralled out of control until he landed on the sand beneath. Scorpius threw him an arrogant smirk and continued to fly in search of the snitch.

"And it's another Gryffindor down!" Hugo said disappointedly. "Scorpius Malfoy is the last man standing."

Albus got up and James ran, no limped, over to him. He looked as though he was attempting to console the young boy but Albus looked beyond consolation. He was jumping and twitching around. Finally he opened his pants and a gold winged object popped out into his hands. By the looks on the young boy's face, he looked as though he was about to faint from shock.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" Hugo and Rose exclaimed together. Several Gryffindors were running onto the field and hoisted Albus onto their shoulders screaming 'Well Done Gryffindor!'.

Scorpius punched the air angrily much to Hugo's pleasure. "Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you Barbie doll looking-Oh yeah Malfoy? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT THAT MIDDLE FINGER! YOU CAN-"

By this time, Minerva had lunged at Hugo and yanked the microphone out of his hands and began waving it menacingly over his head. "THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH! I WILL BE SENDING AN OWL TO YOUR MOTHER FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!"

McGonagall straightened out her robes and turned back to Snape. "This was bittersweet," she said tactly.

Snape eyed her curiously. "How so? You just won."

"Can you imagine the hell we're going to have on the grounds when I tell Molly Weasley that almost half of her grandchildren are in the hospital wing?" Minerva asked.

As soon as she turned her back, Snape laughed at the memory of Fred Weasley's howler last week. "I shudder to think, Minerva, I shudder to think."


End file.
